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18th August

Got out there and did the 5k (32:37)

I find it easier when I let my mind amble. While running this morning, I was able to see that I wasn’t breaking down my tasks. I was trying to do too much too soon.

Today there was a brief stretch….

19th August

I was typing the above last night when I fell asleep. 🙂

Collecting my thoughts about yesterday, the incomplete sentence would read,

… where I got out of the way and ran. These days I’m relearning to run in the moment. The times I can be present fully, I am the run. It’s such a tease, getting the most fleeting taste of NOW.

Today’s mileage: 5k (33:24)

Running was tiring today but its been easier as well to shut the chatter out. I had a long day yesterday and not getting adequate down time affects my running experience. I’ve been thinking about why I run now and there is no clear answer. Somehow there was more clarity when I started to run last year. So I went back to a log I maintained then.

Thursday, 10th October 2013

I have had a lot of time to think about running and I figured while doing greater distances someday would be a kick, what really hooks me is the serenity while moving one foot in front of the other with the wind on my face and the open skies above. I like sweating out all the toxins (I like to think of them as being all the useless thoughts and feelings). The days I ran I was in a more tolerant mind-space. My mind, body and soul all seemed to slow into a state of quietude. It was not just about the physical capability though I loved the feeling of my body changing into something cleaner and leaner. With time it would be devoid of anything unnecessary.  But more than that it was the change in what I thought possible. I realised it was not a matter of strong legs but a strong mind, a peaceful mind, an empty mind. That sense of possibility has seeped in somewhere so I know today that anything is possible. It’s not to say I don’t have my moments of doubt. I have them by the truckload but something the Coach said stuck, remember how far you have come from your first run. And that’s true for life too. I have come a long way, all of us have. Running connects me to the soul of the universe, I feel at one in my skin and in the world.

Somehow this time of being confined has been a humbling experience as well. I’ve had to depend on the kindness of friends and neighbours. I’ve had to ask for help. I’ve had to wait to get things done. The beauty in all this was even on the rough days, I had more patience than before. Surprisingly, I also found myself doing all I set out to do far more effectively and efficiently despite not being completely mobile. Somewhere it was good to stop and breathe.

Now that the cast is off there is no longer that mad rush to hit the road. I know I will get back there, one foot in front of another.

At the present moment, it feels like someone else’s experience but I believe it will come again.